1. Elevator Girlfriend – Avril Lavigne vs. Guy Sigsworth
2. Paper and Glue – Emma Pollock
3. My Fair Lady – The Bird and the Bee
4. Combat Baby – Metric
5. Play – Kate Nash
6. Explode – Uh Huh Her
7. Umbrella – Scott Simons
8. Sunday Morning – Lily Allen
1. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend
She catches them kissing in the elevator. And its not like she can un-open the door or make them un-see her standing there, mouth open a little, shocked smile on her face. SO she steps in, presses the button and laughs. “Didn’t realize you two were…” she dangles it, waits for Pam to catch the words. But she doesn’t. They drip out of her mouth like vomit.
2. I often stand and stare at you, protected by the glass
That week she starts working in 3-D, dousing recycled paper in paper mache mixture she makes in the bathroom, spreading it over a wire frame. She misses lunch and doesn’t notice until hours later, her stomach growls. Kevin stares at the drying skeleton and thinks aloud to the camera crew that at least it’s nothing phallic. Kelly pokes the structure on her way to the microwave and her fingerprints dry there.
3. And I can also be a little shameless
It’s bait and she knows it, but she gets a little thrill, sending taunting emails that she knows Pam won’t give her the pleasure of responding to. Its the premise. The idea that she might respond, that she’s sitting at her desk, across the room, seething. It’s exciting, frankly. Makes her wet.
4. No one here wants to fight me like you do
She’s a little afraid – ok, terrified – to admit that the idea of Kelly coming after her to avenge Darryl’s loss at the ping pong table actually excites her. She’s tired of playing cheerleader, tired of stupid exchanges of words. That’s not her, everyone knows it. But what she doesn’t know is where to find herself where Kelly is concerned. Something short of violence but close to… sex. And wow. Michael is going to want a video tape.
5. I like to play, play
Okay, so she only kind of knew that Pam was in the stall next to her. Which is a total lie. But its something she tells herself, makes her feel better. Still, that squeak when she moaned her name has kept her going for a week now.
6. I love to watch you, honey
She tries to wash her hands without shaking. Really, she’s had a long enough break as it is. Time to grab a soda and return to the desk of doom. But that heavy breathing… those little pants? It’s probably just the artist in her, but she can close her eyes and see everything.
7. You can stand under my umbrella
She offers to walk to Pam’s car with her. And, okay, maybe she winked. A little.
8. I guess this is my cue to give you my reply
“I think Jim’s going to walk me out…” She only feels a little guilty. Because he already went home for the day.
Note: Music is for sampling and artistic purposes only!
Fanfiction, fanmixes, fanvideos. I claim no ownership to the original works featured here, only my own words.
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